In the Best Cafe Nigel and Michael join me for a cup of Rosie Lee. Michael the Whovian's had his Covid and flu boosters and says he might be away with the fairies, so much so that he is hallucinating that A Yeti used to play for West Ham, Michael Antonio once crashed his car dressed as an abominable snowman and de Zarbi are now managing Brighton.
Groundhopper Nigel's been to see Oxford City play, while there's no sign of Matt and Lisa, who in a desperate bid to make the blog are seeing three games in one day, fitting in the Under-18s and the Under-21s at Rush Green before today's match, as you do.
We head off to the match and desperate times times require desperate measures. With West Ham in the bottom three Nigel, in a break from all precedent, opts to eat his lucky banana on the way to the match. Inside the London Stadium we meet Fraser, who clearly anticipating no goals, hasn't bought any cigars with him, plus gameahollcs Matt and Lisa.
It's probably West Ham's strongest team. Kehrer is in at right-back where he plays for Germany and Paqueta, Cornet and Scamacca all start. Wolves play some neat football in midfield and Fabianski has to make a fairly routine save from a long-range Podence shot and then has to make a much more difficult save from Jonny.
But the Irons slowly come into the game and Scamacca and Bowen both look in the mood. Cornet heads on and Scamacca fires just wide from distance. Bowen runs at the defence and his shot is parried by Sa only for Macca to prod it wide of the post. Cornet has to go off injured and is replaced by Fornals, who works hard but misses with a couple of volleys later on.
But the breakthrough comes after 29 minutes, as Scamacca releases Bowen, who runs at the Wolves defence. He's halted by three Wolves defenders but as the ball rebounds out to Scamacca on the edge of the box the Italian takes a touch and fires a thumping half-volley into the corner. He needed that first league goal and runs to the fans with an ear-cupping celebration.
JARROD MARCHES ON
At half-time we have a welcome surprise, meeting returning Irons Steve the Cornish Postie and Scott the Clacton Nostradamus. There's a scare at the start of the second half as Kehrer clears an innocuous ball straight to Traore who volleys wide. But minutes later West Ham get a second. Kehrer's shot is blocked but Bowen is alive to the rebound, controlling the ball with his chest and then head before firing in a quick low shot into the corner. A great finish for his first league goal of the season.
Wolves, without three strikers, have been powderpuff in attack, and bringing on Diego Costa inspires a chorus of "Stick your blue flag up your arse…" from the home fans, though the burly Spaniard makes a difference. Costa puts a free header wide and then crosses for Podence to score, though it's correctly disallowed for a marginal offside.
Antonio comes on for Scamacca and is his usual mix of some good pace and control but poor shooting decisions, much to the chagrin of the Vicar's Son. But the Hammers hold out. The defence looks a lot better with no-nonsense Craig Dawson in it. Zouma has been solid in the air and Kehrer has been quietly effective in our first home win. Moyes will love the clean sheet and for the first time this season in the league we've scored twice.
Al we have to do to ensure another win is for Matt and Lisa to go to three games in a day, Michael to have a Covid jab and Nigel to eat his lucky banana before the kick-off. Our change in luck could also be connected with the fact that my lucky 1970s hooped away strip has come out of storage after two months of subsidence work. Not that we're superstitious.
We retreat to Leyton and the Eagle, where there are at least bottles of un-chilled Spitfire on offer. As Gimme all Your Lovin' pays on the juke box our party discusses bands beginning with 'Z' (getting ZZ Top, the Zutons and the Zombies, though Michael correctly points out that ZZ Top begins with Zee and not Z) and a fight almost starts when Nigel tells Fraser that the West Ham way might be no more. Still, it's been a satisfying evening with a vital win and another winnable game against Fulham is coming up. Hopefully the Hammers will soon be looking upwards.
PLAYER RATINGS: Fabianski 7; Kehrer 7, Zouma 7, Dawson 7, Cresswell 6; Rice 7. Soucek 5, Paqueta 5 (Emerson 6), Cornet 5 (Fornals 6); Scamacca 7, (Antonio 6), Bowen 8.
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