Up against a side that has made eight changes with a big semi final coming up, what could possibly go wrong? I'm joined at the London Stadium by Nigel, CQ in a hoodie displaying the names of all the men who have landed on the Moon (though no-one associated with West Ham has ever been over the Moon), super sub Lisa and Matt fresh from waiting for the council election results from Towcester to pop up. Michael is absent preparing for a Bridgerton-style ball in Covent Garden.
West Ham have a decent first 15 minutes, starting with some intensity. Wan-Bissaka is finding space on the right, Soucek is involved and Kudus is aggressive on the left. But as so often this season a self-inflicted would results in a goal. Max Kilman could simply lump the ball into touch but tries a header, then a couple of ineffectual prods at the ball, allowing Tel to cross for Odobert, who has lost Cresswell and Emerson, to stroke it home. "One-nil in your cup final!" chant the away fans.
At least the crowd stay with the Irons and the side shows some character to keep going. Wan-Bissaka's cross is handled by Ben Davies but ref Michael Oliver turns down the penalty appeals. But the Hammers do equalise when Wan-Bissaka does well to see Bowen's run. Jarrod does the rest taking a touch and putting the ball through Vicario's legs.
The rest of the half is fairly even though there's a another scare when Richarlson fires across the box. The Spurs Second X1 is looking up for it. Still, the bloke from Barcelona in Fraser's old seat seems to be enjoying El Crapico. At half time Matt counsels Nigel not to eat his lucky banana, while we are all aghast that the club website has jinxed us by writing, "the three points are there for the taking."
Odobert has an early shot comfortably saved by Areola after the break but it's West Ham who create the better chances. Kudus does really well to beat his man down the left wing and cross for Fullkrug to head over. Matt gets increasingly irate with referee Michael Oliver and Potter's substitutions, while Paqueta loses it after getting yellow carded and has to be held back by Soucek.
It's sub James Ward-Prowse who almost creates the winner, whipping in a free kick that Bowen gets his head to only to see Vicario pull off a fine one-handed save. In added time a free kick is won in Ward-Prowse territory. He fires in a decent effort that hits the side netting and our last chance of winning it has gone. It's not a disaster but this is now eight games without a win and we really should have beaten a Spurs side of squad players.
We head to the Eagle for Meantime and Spitfire from the fridge and the news that Sinead is departing our local which is a shame. Nigel and Matt discuss the lower leagues, clubs that are nowhere near the city they are named after and the fact that Boreham Wood FC is spelt differently to the town of Borehamwood. We then write Matt's potential review of Iron Maiden at the London Stadium for him. Before wondering if we should recall loanees Kurt Zouma and Maxi Cornet. Otherwise it's roll on the end of the season, though at least we didn't lose the lead.
PLAYER RATINGS: Areola 6; Wan-Bissaka 8, Kilman 4, Todibo 6 (Coufal 5), Cresswell 5 (Mavropanos n/a), Emerson 5; Paqueta 6 (Ward-Prowse 7), Soucek 6 (Soler 5); Kudus 7, Fullkrug 6 (Ferguson 5), Bowen 8.
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